Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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here is the story of my life!

1. my printer dies
2. my ipod goes wonky
3. my webcam dies
4. my freakin COMPUTER dies
5. my dvd player dies
6. my mobile phone dies (sniff, less than a month of havin it)
7. my bro's printer dies
8. my bro's computer dies!!!!
9. fixed bro's computer, then my photoshop refuses to open (?!)
10. BRO'S COMPUTER DIES AGAIN.

eh what is this madness?! am i really emitting destructive electronic waves or something? why is all the technology around me dying?! should i be glad that this cyber cafe keyboard isnt buckling under the oppression of my technology-impaired fingers?

anyway, yes, bro's OS has crashed, and other bro's pc is still password locked and my pc is still MIA so here i am, in some god-forsaken cyber cafe in the middle of bloody ampang opposite some bloody hospital going online when i have tuition in, oh, 20 minutes, in oh, SSFREAKING2 because I CANT STAND THE THOUGHT OF NOT GOING ONLINE AT LEAST ONCE IN 48 HOURS!

this is really sad. i am so addicted to the internet that it isnt funny anymore. it is detrimental to my health as well as the measly schedule that i have set for myself in regards to this impending day that is a mere 3 weeks away. OMG! i havent studied!!!!! die! sure fail!

(and that, ladies and gentlemen, is the 5Sc1 mantra. didnt study at all in this context really means "i studied for 12 hours yesterday but i'm not going to tell you that, duh.". sure fail! really means a B3 grade. dont you feel so enlightened?! do you want me to give you more 5Sc1 mantras? we've got so many :D)

though in all honesty la, i really didnt study for 12 hours. more like .. 2 hours. and even then i had a 45 minute break in between.

i have been depressed lately for no good reason. i just sit around and end up crying into a pack of Doritos. very pathetic, i know, but i dont really know also. i think it's a combination of hormonal imbalance (that time of month) and stress and a sense of hopelessness and also this ANGER THAT I HAVE FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE THAT I KNOW.

i am contemplating resigning from the prom committee. am very pissed, because despite having 20+ people on my team, only like, 5 people seem to be doing any work. and you know what's the best part? the people who DONT do their given assignments are the ones who ask me for free tickets to the prom. "eh, committee member got discount ar...? we do so much work wor!" eat shit la, what work you do. if i were to give free tickets, i would give it only to the people who didnt expect to get free tickets. knn. free tickets konon, when you do no work. you think committee very rich issit. 6k under budget is not a joke.

anyway yes, am pissed. if i go to school tomorrow and see no shit done, i am resigning. i'm seriously tired of adopting all their abandoned assignments. i cant afford to do 20 people's work when it's this near to SPM.

tis a bitter angry week. i am thankful for :



Old Man Chi sent me the above stack of chocolate all the way from Europe, and Julian got me Godiva from Hong Kong (or KLIA, i dont know :P), so i've been bingeing on chocolate, chocolate and MORE chocolate this week. siiiiiiiiiiigh. you know it is bad when chocolate is the only thing you can depend on to make you smile.

wow, i have missed blogging. i have so many things to say but i dont know where to start. i would sit here and blog for another hour or so but sadly tuition calls, and i gotta run, or else En Ariff is going to verbally assault me again like he always does :( sad. why do i have a physics teacher who thinks its amusing to verbally assault his students?!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

4:03 AM

current music : James Blunt - No Bravery

------------------------

have been absent from the WWW for like, gasp omg, 3 days now. see, 2 out of 3 of the computers in my house have died for no apparent reason, and the other 1 out of 3 has been PASSWORD PROTECTED by my DEAREST BROTHER who is a big fat ignorant jerk.

but nevermind. my daddy dearest understood my predicament and fixed 1 out of the 2 out of 3 pcs within 24 hours and now i am back online, connected once again to this worldwide network that has grown to become almost part of me over the past 8 years.

anyways i am in a state of stress now. many things have been happening and i cannot deal with a lot of it. this lack of adaptability is manifesting itself in the form of dark circles under my eyes and this HUGE ZIT a little to the right of my nose. i never usually get pimples, so this ... thing that i have on my face right now is taking some serious getting used to. what does one do with a pimple that's so freakishly annoying that you just want to POP it?!


so, in the 3 days that i've been cut off life support, i've just been basically doing a lot of thinking. and i have come to many conclusions. and certain courses of events have paved the way to this one conclusion -- i should be nicer to some people.

see, i used to rather dislike this one girl in my class. for very bitter reasons, i did not enjoy talking to her and i always misconstrued her actions on purpose just because i refused to believe that she would ever have any good intentions. but now, i have come to realize that inherently she is so much nicer than the people (in my class) that i hang out with currently. so much more real, and funnily enough, more supportive.

it's strange.

i am feeling bad about a lot of things now, and the recollection of the treatment i dished out to the above girl is one of them.

here's another. after not attending school for the past week, i dropped by school during lunch cos i had to pass some papers to aira. as i was making my way up the stairs, this junior prefect grabbed my arm all of a sudden and said "excuse me, you cant go up now."

instantly i jerked my hand away from her, shot her this amazingly DIRTY glare and bit out, "hello? do i look like i came to school this morning? i'm not even in uniform!" and then i stormed up the stairs, ignoring her stuttering apologies.

in the 5 minutes that i took to go up to class, leave the stuff on aira's desk and make my way back down, i started feeling so damn bad. the girl was just doing her job, and it was completely unnecessary for me to react like that. it wasnt her fault i was having a bad day, it wasnt her fault that i'm got all these cranky problems i cant even begin to solve, and it wasnt her fault that i was being such a bitch. i didnt have to take it out on her.

so as i walked past her on my way down, i tried to send a telephatic apology her way. like, i'm sorry i was so terrible earlier, and i really didnt mean it. but she avoided my eyes and quickly looked away. nevertheless i hope she knows that i am sorry.

i came back home later that day to tell my brother that i needed desperately to use his pc cos pc1 and pc2 have died on me, and that i had urgent emails to reply and some other shit. i said, after you finish this game, please dont start another because i've got some urgent stuff to do. he later banged on the bathroom door and said no, i dont want you to use the pc because i want to play another DotA game and it is starting now.

so i came out of the shower and we had this huge fight regarding ownership of said pc and the urgency of sponsorship vs a freaking dota game. what resulted was that he ended up password protecting the freakin PC so my younger brother and i couldnt use it. i swear i never wanted to slap him more than i did then.

in all my furor, i decided that the first thing i was going to do tomorrow morning was change the passwords to our Jaring and TMNet internet accounts. hah, see how the sohai go online then. also called my mom up and told her no way on earth was i going to register streamyx (msian broadband) for the brat now. i was like @#*%$&(*$&^$&^(*0$*^FUCKYOU#)%&*$(*^&$(*^ the whole time and i was just so damn pissed.

so i threw myself onto the couch and watched MTV. a ribena and 2 chocolate bars later, i realized this whole ihatemybrother thing is just another one of those juniorprefect and formallyabhoredgirlfromyclass thing. i would get angry over stupid matters, retaliate in all my anger, cause harm and hurt and inconvenience, and then i would feel bad after all the damage is done.

no point. god wouldnt want it that way. so i took a few deep breaths, decided that i would not change the passwords, and went to bed. woke up feeling like i did the right thing.

from now onwards no matter how mean anyone is to me, i will not be mean back to them. i will not. i will not. i will not. lalalalalala.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

4:09 AM

current music : -

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the digital clock on the lower right shows an insane hour of the night. i am seated here listening to time creep cos i find myself unable to sleep. it is cold because i'm seated here in nothing but my towel but i really dont wanna move cos it's just so comfortable. scrambled eggs and hot marmite soup are good companions at a time like this.

right now it is so quiet. quiet nights like tonight i tend to just sit back and forget everything. massage my throbbing temples with my fingers, and tell tales of long sighs to the indifferent wind. it is lonely at this time of night, but the silence drowns you in a way where you dont realize that you are suffocating. it is most pleasant, and if i could die this way i would.

amidst all the chaos i'm running alongside with at the moment, today i feel thankful for many things.

i used to curse the lengthy journeys to SS2 for tuition every tuesday and wednesday, but today i realized after 45 minutes of much-needed sleep in the car that my biweekly hourlong rides are such precious opportunities to catch up on lost sleep. i dont get a lot of sleep these days, and sometimes even 5 minutes of dreamless slumber feels like heaven.

i gripe a lot about SPM and how i'm gonna fail all my subjects and shit, but perhaps i should be glad that i've been immersed in my studies well enough over the past 2 years to fairly grasp the syllabus. and 10A's for forecast results isnt so bad. some people are like "i didnt even get passes for my forecast!" and then i start to feel bad cos i get A's and stuff yet i still gripe so much about my results.

i feel thankful for this certain friend i've got because she is always there when i need somebody. you have friends who talk about nothing else but themselves, friends who dont realise you're in deep shit cos they're so engrossed in their measly superficialities, friends who buzz you only when they need a favour, friends who come and go without ever leaving an impact in your life .... and then you have her. she's different because .. i dont know, she just cares so much. in hours of panic and moments of girly squealing she is always the best person to turn to. i would trade all my friends in the world just as long as i get to keep her.

i am grateful for many things but today i'll just keep it to the aforementioned three things. i'm not feeling well at the moment -- physically cos my lifestyle as of late has been severely unhealthy, and emotionally cos .. well, shit happens, like it is so prone to doing these days.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. it's been a long month.

you wanna know something real strange? i just realised i never get anything i want unless i pray for it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

8:22 AM

current music : Michael Buble - Home

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i am up at this ungodly hour of 8.30AM because i just got FFK-ed (canceled on, for the non cantonese-slang savvy) by my personal trainer.

hey, have i ever told you guys what my personal trainer is called?

GUESS, GUESS!!!!!! if you guys thought the name Nicholas Cage gave his son was weird, wait till you hear this one. it tops even the wackier names of Hongkie and Japanese fame, such as 'Lightning', or 'Magenta', or 'Baby'. oh and my trainer is a guy by the way.

his name is ........ (highlight below for name!)

FREAKY.

i'm serious. i shit you not. for the longest time his number was stored in my phone as Vicky, and even then i thought it was a pretty strange name for a guy. then one day i called him Vicky with extra emphasis on the V, and he was like, "no no no, my name is FREAKY!!"

anyway, i dont think i will be seeing him for a week at least. he hurt his arm and butt while working out, apparently. his BUTT! he is either a master at thinking up original excuses or just one of those overenthusiastic gym freaks.

hey i made a pun. hahahahaha.

okay, right, i shall be coherent. so i've been good, SPM is in 3 weeks and i swear to you i am being completely honest when i say i have been neglecting my studies. and the times that i DO read, it all goes in and out again at about the same rate. sort of like a compensation point. you know, the point at which plant respiration equals plant photosynthesis.

and also i would really appreciate it if you other post-SPM people stopped telling me things like "aiya dont be so stressed la. SPM easy only wan. i never studied and i got like 10A's!" DONT DO THAT TO ME LA. i know you guys are like freakin bloody geniuses who dont need to study and shit to get like a few billion A's and all, but unfortunately i was not born blessed with brains and an exceptionally flawless memory :( boohoo. people like me gotta slog.

actually to be honest la, i think i'm just hyping up all my panic. i'm not really all that panicked. i probably just do this whole SHIT SPM IS COMING thing cos i am just so attention-seeking that way. shaddup, dont agree with that. i really am genuinely panicked.

the chocolate that i have been excessively consoling myself with may be alleviating all my stress, but it's not exactly my waist's best friend. my body hates me for having such an affinity to chocolate, sorta like a 2.8.1 atom to a 2.7 atom, but ah, the things we women do for a good mood or two. have i told you people that i've put on 2.5kg since my bday cos of all that cake and chocolate? i have not thrown a fit yet or sank into those blubbering TVB-worthy tearfests where i start wailing "nobody loves me cos i'm fat!!!" cos i'm too busy eyeing that Haagen Dazs cookies and cream cake in my freezer. nyum.

food will be the death of me. we were just discussing food the other day, and i think i freaked scared st and szeyin when i said i could eat 3 quarter pounders if i wanted to, and that i have. very scary meh. quarter pounders are nice, especially with barbeque sauce. mcdonalds is <3.

okay, this is way too early to be up so i think i am going back to bed before my lunch date with st and waimin.

quick reminder to all the ssg kids reading this, prom king and prom queen polling has started yesterday! response is looking good, we've got lots of votes in already and there seem to be some favourites to win. so, grab the forms from the booth and fill em up and drop em back in the box. dont forget to follow the RULES! polling closes on wednesday.

and speaking of prom, i am sad because we are about RM6000 under budget. would anyone like to sponsor my prom?!?! :( :( :( i swear i will love you forever and ever and ever.

Friday, October 14, 2005

2:19 AM

current music : Vertical Horizon - You're A God

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it was the beginning of something great, the beginning of something bittersweet. it was cluttered with confusion and it overflowed with passion, and it was a day that would come to stain the little white boxes of her calendars for years and years.

"um... latte. i think. a double, and low fat. no wait, make that kinda low fat but not really low fat, you know? still with the taste of real milk and all. and um.. iced. yeah."

"hey, no problem. muffin to go with that?"

"actually, could you scrap that latte? i think i'll have a hot chocolate instead. sorry!!"

and so the little girl's coffeehouse romance began in a flurry of foam and a hotchocolate-scorched tongue. sometimes the whipped cream on her drink would make her feel better, the rest of the days it reminded her of all that could have been. would it actually have made a difference, she asks herself as she looks at him. so cute, so gorgeous, so perfect and she cant stop tracing lines on his face with her eyes. he reaches over the table and holds her hand. such comfortingly cold fingers in the hot heat of the afternoon. she wants to melt.

it goes on like this for weeks. they read poetry together -- Lawrence. he tells her with such insight the many meanings of the lines she does not see, irons out the double entrendes before her and plucks the stars right out of the sky. little girl is so impressed and her breath is taken away -- this man is so amazing. i'm not even going to pretend to like coffee anymore, she thinks.

what wit! what charm! she cannot resist his insidious wiles. lucidity has betrayed her and faith's dagger with the feather-lined hilt stands proudly on her back like a flag. all is lost; and she has forgotten the way back to the fork in the road. the brambles in her way are not unlike those of the Enchanted Forest's in the book where a hundred years stand not in the way of true love. she wants to go back home and pick up the book again. was there something she missed? anywhere but here.

she buys his soap so she can smell like him. if she cant have the real thing, perhaps the memory of it is good enough then. ah, she knew she wasnt deserving enough anyway. what a foolish girl! do you think the falsities of your new scent can beguile your imagination? you are deluded enough already. put the wretched soap away and remove its filthy film from your eyes.

wide-eyed she stares at ceilings wanting them to fall down on her. white turns to yellow and turns to water and turns to black. the spinning of ceiling fans matches her heartbeat and she is consumed in pretty things of nonstarkness. even in her slumber he steals her constant breath. veins and arteries pump life in and out of something that no longer exists each time she wakes up. what is blood? it is like paint.

printings of exquisite blue and green mark the frail white, and they stand out in contrast like a work of art in harmony. its artist is beautiful but does she know it? of course not. tears are cheap and everyone can write about them. that's right, little girl has to be different. slender women in pink ballet slippers adorn the walls of her room but her bedsheets are so blue and her soul is so grey. why? do big words on white screens make any difference whether or not you understand what they mean?

what is in a name. that which we call a rose. by any other name would smell as sweet.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

12:53 AM

current music : Mazzy Star - Flowers in December

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i am very sad.

i just flunked my SPM IT paper in 8 different ways.

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

my VB coding had like, 3 different mistakes. not one, not two, but THREE!!!

and then right, there was this question where they gave a picture of a local area network and said that this was a network in a school's lab. then they asked us to name the type of network. you know what i answered or not!??!?! I PUT CAMPUS AREA NETWORK.

STUPID!!!

and then there was this question that asked what is the hardware that links different networks, and it cant be bridge or gateway cos nothing on protocol was brought up. i put router, but EVERYBODY, even the people from DIFFERENT SCHOOLS answered hub or modem!! whyyyyyyyyyy :( is this like a conspiracy to make me feel bad cos i'm stupid?!

haihhhhh. i havent been coherent the whole of yesterday and today cos it has sunk in that my dream of getting straight A's for SPM has just flown out the window. omg i thought it would be like Add maths or chem that would hinder me from straight A's, but NOOOO it had to be freaking Information Technology.

I HATE YOU ERIC!!!!!!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

5:51 PM

current music : Lifehouse - Everything (best lifehouse song ever)

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diediedie. SPM starts tomorrow for me, with a 3hr Information Technology paper. pukimak!! i panic. very hard to memorise 6 chapters in one day okay.

hey, have i ever told you guys how weird my education syllabus can get? wait, i havent? okay let me give you an example. see, chapter7 in my Biology syllabus is focused on Nutrition, and the later parts of the chapter deals with photosynthesis and food additives. howeverrrr, the last subtopic is titled "Love for Plants", which basically tells us poor SPM students that we should be giving our plants some lovin' in return for the oxygen and food they provide us.

HAHAHHAHAHA.

okay la, and as if that was not enough, i came across something even weirder when i was studying IT yesterday. in the chapter of Networking, there's this subchapter on the Internet, see? so there's this part where they give you a little information on Hackers and Hacking. let me quote you the text ..

'Umpamanya mereka memasukkan gambar lucah pada laman seseorang. Jika Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan tidak diamalkan, maka seseorang akan melakukan jenayah ini. Untuk mengatasi masalah ini, manusia itu sendiri perlu diberi pendidikan dan kepercayaan kepada Tuhan.'

..........

HAHAHAHAHAHA :D i burst out laughing in Starbucks. i couldnt suppress my giggles for about ten minutes. PLEASE LAH. this is Information Technology, not Pendidikan Moral! ahhaaha i'm already preparing myself to give a moral essay tomorrow during the paper if Hacking comes out as an essay question. "Para penggodam haruslah mengamalkan nilai kepercayaan kepada tuhan, iaitu keyakinan bahawa wujudnya Tuhan sebagai pencipta alam dan mematuhi segala suruhannya berlandaskan pegangan agama yang selaras dengan prinsip Rukun Negara!"

chehwah. Moral A1!!!

to the non-BM reading bunch, the excerpt i quoted from my textbook basically says that hackers do the things they do because they do not believe in God, and until they are given education and religion, they will continue this condemned act of hacking.

yeah, i know. WTF, right?

but seriously though, i dont know why our syllabus pushes religion so much. it's almost funny, and is seriously a big insult to the integrity of agnostics and atheists in the country. if i were agnostic, i'd be pretty pissed.

anyway, blahs. i should be mugging my programming code right now instead of laughing at my IT syllabus. die! what makes me think that my memory wont fail me tomorrow!

i thought it was funny that my dad pulled me aside earlier with a very serious look on his face, and said "girl, i think you better stop studying. it's not healthy to be so worried about your studies, you know?" so i blinked and said "what?! i dont study enough!!! why else do you think i've been failing my add maths!!"

then he did that whole psychologist-thing, where they nod gravely like you've just proven their point while trying to deny it, and he said, "do you want to go for a holiday? i think you should take a 2 week break before SPM .."

... my dad is just weird.

edit: oh i forgot to say!!! here's another reason why my IT syllabus is weird -- in the same subtopic of Internet, there's this section that teaches you what emoticons mean.

let me quote ..

"When online, we use the keyboard to express ourselves in the form of text. Technology has provided us with keyboard abbrievations to express our emotions quickly and concisely. These abbrievations are called emoticons or smileys. Below are a few examples of emoticons :

:-) smiling
:-( sad
:'-( crying in sadness
:'-) crying in happiness
:-| bored
:-@ screaming"

muahahahhaa :D my textbook is teaching me how to use emoticons!! isnt that cute!

and to those who speak both BM and english, let me share with you some of the weirder terms in my book ...

motherboard = papan ibu
userfriendly = ramah pengguna
artificial intelligence = kepintaran tidak benar
read-only memory = ingatan yang hanya boleh dibaca
online = atas talian

haha oh man. why do they even try.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

1:51 AM

current music : Coldplay - The Scientist

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and so i am 17.

omg! i'm OLD!

it's been an awesome birthday so far, all 2 hours of it :D you know things are getting good when Mr. I Don't Give Two Shits Bout Nobody (everybody, meet Jovann) calls you to demand you go to school tomorrow just so he can hand you your bday gift personally. HAH! i mean, this is jovann!!! you gotta understand that phone calls like that dont come from him everyday.

jovann, i am so touched :D *SNIFF*

i would like to thank all the awesome people who texted/called me at the stroke of midnight just a while ago -- you guys got real good timing! even my mom took like an hour to remember it was my birthday! also, thanks for the Friendster bday testimonials as well as the shoutouts on MSN :) big huggles to eeyean cos she made me a collage. hahaha :D *smacks booha*

i'm gonna do something cute for my bday this year. i shall have a photolog for the 6th of October!!! ahha i thought it'd be fun to do one of these things, seeing as i've never done one before :D also cos i will probably never get around to blogging about my birthday. in fact, in my 5 years of blogging i dont believe i have EVER blogged about my birthday!

so here goes .. :)

NOTE: lotsa pictures. go grab a sandwich or something first if you're on dialup or a slow connection .. :)


5th October, 11.58PM

very first bday sms, from wai min. 2 minutes early, but still valid cos its WAI MIN :D


5th October, 11.59PM

this one is from aira! also early, and also valid cos it's AIRA and cos she's the only brazilian parrot that i know ..


6th October, 12.00AM

first bday call from azlan. this is probably the only time he is ever early for anything .. :D


12.01AM

this was what i spent the first few minutes of my birthday doing ... STUDYING! i finished 1/3 of Carbon Compounds today, be proud of me okay. argh, chemistry is suckaaay. and it's so dark cos Starbucks was trying to halau people out.


12.14AM

i was surprised with a Cookies and Creme Haagen Dazs cake ... :D thank you, song jun!!


12.27AM

on the way home. i was so happy with the cake and all the calls/smses from ppl whom i thought had long forgotten me, that i had to camwhore to release all that pent up happiness. hahaha.


12.45AM

cake deserves one more picture!!!


1.33AM

having satay while catching the last 30 minutes of Love Actually on starmovies. HUGH GRANT!


2.58AM

kevin called me all the way from the states just to call me a bitch :( i told him it was gonna go on my blog. PEOPLE, PLS SCOLD HIM :( he hurt my feelings on my bday :(


3.57AM

nighty night :) bed beckons. more to come tomorrow.


6.58AM

dim sum breakfast at Connaught with the brothers. shlurps.


8.44AM

in school now. this is my Physics teacher, Mr Khoo! give you a prize if you can guess how old he is.


11.13AM

came back up from recess to find this pretty pink box on my table!


11.15AM

and it turns out to be a very expertly baked homemade chocolate cake, decorated with peanutbutter M&M's from Singapore ;) thank you, nazrin!


11.36AM

this is my add maths paper. hehehe did i tell you guys that i PASSED?! 50%, baby!!! to everyone on my MSN list .. i owe you 2 bucks :D


1.05PM

sieutheng and i. she insisted i sit down so that i didnt tower over her


1.12PM

me with my flowers and the trenchcoat that jovann, aira and st got for me. damn, these people sure know what i like! :D


1.15PM

sieutheng fooling around with my trenchcoat. she's trying to achieve the Seifer effect ..


1.32PM

Miss Doh has turned my classmates into slaves, branding herself 'Line Manager' and making them staple together hundreds and hundreds of papers for her.


4.14PM

got home to find another beautiful bouquet of flowers on my desk .. :)


4.28PM

found this in my mail ..! it was a (very sadistic) card and MPH book vouchers from eeeeyeannnn :D


5.10PM

back in school for IT extra class. siigh, REAL SPM IT paper is 3 days away. our IT teacher seems rather panicky for us. we hope to do her proud come monday :)


6.09PM

after class, waiting for a cab outside my school so i can GO HOME :(


8.04PM

dinner at Ciao with my closest friends. this was a toast to SPM straight A's, and um, to Mr Scrooge -- the founder of the feast. (if only jonathan were here!)


8.37PM

hahahaha. who's your daddy?! :D spanking new white iPod Nano, a gift from my darling father.


9.35PM

the adorable friends surprised me with a birthday cake :D i cheated this year and made 2 wishes.


9.42PM

after the cake cutting, we camwhored a lot. here's one of the pics with us in our infamous pose of mockery!


10.58PM

extremely pooped after all that camwhoring, posing, laughing, joking and screaming and simply being young.


11.49PM

at home now, and have unwrapped all my bday gifts :D *ecstatic* this is a pic of moi and all the chocolate i recieved. i guess people just kinda know how much chocolate i can scarf down, huh :P


11.52PM

birthday stash this year. i got some of the awesomest stuff this year :) am feeling extremely blessed for all the wonderful friends and family i'm surrounded with.



11.58PM

cleaning off my makeup and getting ready to bid my special day goodbye!


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and so my birthday has ended and i am officially 17 now. i have nothing to say besides that i just had one of the most wonderful birthdays ever. i was showered with so much love and attention the whole day that it was all so very overwhelming.

i just finished reading all the birthday cards i got today, and almost every one of them made me cry. i dont know if what was written in the cards were written with honesty by their senders, but every single one of the words just reached out and grabbed my heart in a way that i cannot explain. there was one card written by a girl who opened her heart to me in 5 sentences , and that was so amazing because she never usually exposes anything about herself to anyone, much less to me. i felt so honoured. and there was this other card from a clique -- 4 people that i've never really regarded as close to me because i always felt that they werent very comfortable around me -- and when i opened it, out fell gift cards for MAC. the first thing i thought was, wah, how they know wan. and then i just started crying some more because i was just so touched that they knew enough about me to know that i love stuff from MAC.

and my best friends got me a trench coat from Zara which is just fucking cool because i love trench coats. they got me flowers and they got me a cake and they just made my day so damn special simply because they were there. i didnt even know they cared.

then there were all these birthday wishes from people i swear i thought had forgotten me. i mean, i got a birthday wish from jonathan tee, the Advisor from my recent student exchange trip to Corea. shit, i didnt even know he knew my birthday! my extended family sent very heartfelt smses (Friendster testi's from the younger ones) that made wish we were more close knit so i could express my gratitude better. then all these people from school whom i never even speak to just came up to me to wish me a happy birthday, some even texting me at the stroke of midnight. it was all so surreal. they didnt have to do it, but they did anyway.

so to everyone who contributed towards making my birthday such a special and memorable one, i want to say thank you :) great birthdays like the one i just had dont come around often.

now ... i just have to figure out a way to survive the next week or so without turning into a blimp the size of Jupiter!!! 4 birthday cakes and 5 boxes of chocolate is a little crazy, even for me. yet, the idea of having all that scrumptious dessert within arm's reach sends delicious shivers down my spine.

haha, damn, i am just a pig.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

2:01 AM

current music : Switchfoot - Meant To Be

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you know how everyone is on this Desperate Housewives kick?

well yeah, shucks to that. cos i just watched my VERY FIRST episode of Friends.

i fcking loved it :D shit! where has Friends been all my life?!?!

Monday, October 03, 2005

3:56 AM

current music : Safri Duo - Bass Beat

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so, the thing with me right now is that i'm currently enduring the latest in this series of eye infections that i've been having over the past 2 months. i dont know why i've been getting 'em, but they're majorly painful and very irritating for the couple of days that they stick around before disappearing into thin air.

usually i leave them alone so they can do their Houdini thing on their own, but i have been super stressed lately and have therefore been blazing like a mad woman through everything that stands in my way. current eye infection did not escape my Mad Woman syndrome, as i was so irritated at it that i went to the doctor (wow, first time in what, 5 years?) to find out exactly why i have been getting these thingies, and how i can make them go away forever.

the doctor, upon inspecting my eye for a grand total of 1.2 seconds, launched into a droney jargon-laced soliloquy about follicles and pores that i kinda retained zero information from. but i dont care. you see, the one thing (and possibly the most important) that i understood from my discourse with the doctor was ..... that ...




i am not allowed to wear my contacts or use makeup until this eye infection subsides.





..........







okay, i know everyone expected me to launch into a hugeeeeeee fit with CAPS LOCK enabled and bolded words or maybe even enlarged font, screaming about how my life is ruined cos i cant wear contacts or makeup for a full week, but HAHA, GOTCHA, i didnt.

because it's really no biggie!!! so what if i cant wear contacts or makeup for a couple of days?!

... yeah yeah try not to roll your eyes too much. i've gotten that reaction only like 50000 times in the past few days. i know laaaaaa i somehow give people this impression of being a very vain and appearance-conscious girl and all, but i will have you know that i am not like that. it is just my veneer. you have to delve further into my soul to know that i really dont give two shits bout how i look :D

hehe. i just thought it was high-time i corrected this crazy public misconception of the real me. i mean, come on. just because i like shopping and cosmetics and all that kind of girly shit does not make me such a looks-engrossed ditz.

bah, you people just wait!!!! one day when i become a famous rocket scientist or discover the cure to the common cold or something intellectually funky like that, i will have an internationally-aired press conference to tell the whole wide world that i got where i am because of my smarts, and not because of MAC, or my ability to shake my butt.


ahha anyways, weird caffeine-induced bloggings aside, i have a new obsession. Ribena is taking a backseat for this baby. it's called the BANANA PIE. next time you go to McDonalds, make sure you buy at least 5 of em!!! any less than that and i swear you will regret your lack of insight.

also, my parents have returned early from Jakarta due to the suicide bombings in Bali yesterday. man, this shit is crazy. when will all this terrorism stop? havent enough innocent people died already just so those terrorists can make a statement? days like these the control freak in me wants to just track these people down, so i can give them a good slap in the face and spit on them. inhumane lowlifes.

ergh. enough on people not worth mentioning. let us talk about something more uplifting, shall we? like Godivaaaaaa. i am currently indulging in its heavenly wonders. oh, hedonistic me. let me share my wealth with you.



the boxed kind though, much to my iffiness. but i am glad to have my chocolate fix :D it is that time of the month, you see, and chocolate is much needed during dire times like these.

i am tired. there are many things that i dont understand at the moment. sometimes i dont even know if i really want to understand them. the mere idea of pursuing the truth of the matter makes me feel fatigued. and the notion of uncovering the mystery just puts me off. i dont know. maybe it's better that i remain the way i am now. not knowing anything and just playing guessing games with the mind games of manipulative people. i am just so sleepy.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

5:41 AM

current music : Frou Frou - Breathe In

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i woke up from a 12 hour long sleep this evening, and i thought i was dreaming or something when i saw that the date on my phone read 1st Oct 2005.

man, october already? time has flown by so fast that i cant even really recall anything from the past year. ok, maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but it sure feels like that. where have my 275 days gone?! robbed from me, i tell you!!! i want my time back :( need it for SPM preparations.

speaking of which, SPM is a month away. omg, i dont even know half of my syllabus. aku panic wei! okay, time to look for alvin (not you, puppy18, unless you scored 12A1's during your spm!) so he can do that scare-me-into-studying thing that he does so well.

nowadays i pretty much cant do anything non-academic without feeling guilty. i sure hope i'm not the only SPM student facing this syndrome! it's crazy though, whenever i spend the whole day out of the house and away from my books, i chastise myself every 15 minutes for not at least bringing with me some light reading material. and then when i get home, i bury myself in bed for the remaining day because i wanna escape the fact that i spent a whole full 24 hours learning nothing.

or maybe the above paragraph was just my very well-worded excuse for being a lazy sonofabitch.

hehehe. okay la i bluffed you, i've actually been studying. not that i've accomplished much, cos i spend 3/4 of my time-devoted-to-books staring into space instead of diagrams of salts being heated and thus expelling all these weird gases that either a) murkify chalk water or b) light a glowing splinter or c) put out a lighted splinter with a POP!. have also been spending my time reading the new cute lil brochures in Starbucks ('Learn Starbucks Barista Speak!' and 'What's Your Favourite Latte?') instead of the 1001 kandungan-kandungan of the Perjanjian Hudaibiyah.

and omg, how come no one told me earlier that Starbucks Mt Kiara is open 24 hrs on weekends?! it's like THE perfect place to accomodate my nocturnal habits and my disinclination towards studying at home. so, anyone who wants to do a group study thingie after midnight on weekends, hit me up! though i wouldnt recommend it. in my 11 years of experience as a student, i have never seen a group study work without at least 80% of the stipulated time being spent talking and gossiping about benda-benda yang tidak berkenaan. especially when i'm involved in said group study. somedays i realize that my inborne unshuttupness is quite detrimental when it comes to a lot of things :(

is this why people never invite me for group studies?!?!

also, i dunno why i'm sitting here at 5.35AM blogging when blogger.com wont even publish my post anyway. but nevermind. i will still try.

on another note, my trusted ability to ruin anything that runs on semiconductors or other equally confusing electronic whatchamacallits, has been performing at its peak lately. BECAUSE I HAVE DESTROYED MY OWN COMPUTER. i dont even know how i did it!!! at first it started freezing on me even when i left it idle. i didnt think much of it. but then after awhile the freezing got more recurrent, and the time i had between rebooting and the freezing got shorter and shorter. and NOW, i cant even turn on the computer anymore!!!

nooooooooooooooooo :( all my files! my music! my fonts and brushes! MY DATAAAAA!

is this a God-sent sign telling me that i should stay computer-free for the next month till my SPM is over? well its not working >:( i'm online now. albeit on my brother's (sucky, omg who has 128MB RAM nowadays?!) pc, but still online. so there.

i also wanna pimp a question i've been dying to ask for a while now. do any of you guys know where i can obtain a chocolate fountain? Shangri La doesnt rent theirs out, and my request with Equatorial Hotel is still pending, though i have a feeling there is a high chance of it being declined. so if any of you know of places where i can rent or buy a chocolate fountain, PLEASE TELL ME IMMEDIATELY! or if you're not from msia, but know of places in your country whose chocolate fountain sales/rental encompasses asian regions, do tell me as well. urgenttttt.

le thank you :D

hey, i went to watch Flight Plan starring Jodie Foster and Sean Bean the other day. very good show! claustrophobic effect put to good use again, just like in Red Eye. jodie foster did a good job, playing very well the role of paranoid panicky mother to match the one she had in 2002's Panic Room. at many points i wanted to smack her for being so delusionally insensitive, but ah well, i guess that's good acting at work.

okie i have nothing else to say. now i just hope this damn thing posts. POST, I SAY!