Wednesday, August 31, 200512:25 PMcurrent music : Jac - Gemilang (kenalah local sikit pada hari ini) wahai semua kawan-kawan yang membaca blog aku ini,
dan kepada sesiapa sahaja yang memahami wtf aku sedang menulis, SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA!!!!! pada hari ini, tanggal 31 Ogos, tanahair tercinta sedang merai hari kemerdekaannya yang ke-48. wow, aku syok wei, melihat bunga api yang terpancar indah menyumbang kepada Indeks Pencemaran Udara, di samping mendengar sorakan semua orang giler yang berpusu-pusu macam ikan sardin kat di mana sahaja mereka berada dalam kegilaan mereka menyambut hari yang ...cun ini. okey, bahasa melayu aku bukanlah bagus sangat, skrang semua orang tau mengapa puan rokiah membuli saya tiap tiap hari dalam kelas. pompuan itu asyik mengacau saya dengan mengimitatekan saya mengguna accent mat salleh, hari ini tidak terkecuali. cis...... menjelang SPM nanti .... kalau aku dapat A1 untuk bahasa melayu .... mampus dia! aku gloat sampai mati-mati di depan muka dia. bak kata pepatah, kalau orang kata u tak boleh berjaya, u mesti go all out untuk menunjukkan kebolehan u!! eh topik blog aku terpesong macam karanganku dalam ujian percubaan SPM bulan yang lalu. tadi kan cakap tentang malaysia, tapi tiba-tiba mengumpat pasal si rokiah pula. tak baik kan, mengumpat orang lain? kalau aira ada kat sini, dia akan menuding jari pada saya dan menjerit "DOSA!!". baiklah, demi rakan karibku aira amira, saya tidak akan mengumpat sesiapa pada hari yang mulia ini. di samping itu, (ei masa UPSR, setiap tanda wancana dapat 1 markah tau) aku nak bersorak kepada seluruh World Wide Web bahawa saya amat bangga menjadi rakyat Malaysia. walaupun malaysia sesebuah negara yang masih mempunyai ruang untuk bertambah maju dari segi politik, ekonomi dan sosial ... we're not doing so bad lah sebagai sebuah negara yang hanya berumur 48 tahun. bukan sahaja itu (cheewah tambah 1 markah lagi), aku berpendapat bahawa ia bukan senang untuk mencapai tahap harmoni yang kita menjulung pada hari ini. jadi kita boleh dikatakan amat cun juga lah kerana berjaya mewujudkan suasana aman damai dan lovey dovey di kalangan penduduk negara kita. akhir-akhir ini, negara kita dibelenggui banyak masalah, contohnya masalah jerebu, kerumitan A.P, kenaikan harga minyak, serta ketidakpuashatian Tun Mahathir terhadap isu-isu pentadbiran negara. aku rasa sedih melihat negara tercintaku mengharungi shit like that, but what to do, tanpa sakit tiada .. keuntungan. and uh ..... aku cinta padamu, malaysia. kesimpulannya, semua pihak haruslah berganding bahu untuk mewujudkan negara yang aman dan berharmoni. p/s : selamat hari merdeka saya ucapkan sekali lagi!!! maaf atas bahasa melayuku yang amat cacat. aku ada banyak perkara nak cakap tentang topik ini, tapi kestupidan aku dalam bahasa melayu menghalangku daripada menyampaikan apa yang dikehendaki. so, tak apalah. mungkin tahun depan saya akan cuba lagi selepas membaca beberapa buah buku karangan contoh. harap-harap mata-mata kawan-kawan tidak berdarah-darah selepas menatap coretanku yang mwah!!! :D <--- ini adalah kucupan elektronik dalam bahasa antarabangsa untuk kalian! AKU <3 MALAYSIA!!!
Monday, August 29, 20052:13 AMcurrent music : Snow Patrol - Run it's a quiet Sunday night, and i'm sitting at home in my exboyfriend's tshirt, eating chocolate chip cookies from Corea and listening to Snow Patrol. MSN is off, phone is hidden somewhere underneath my bedcovers, and add math homework is being forgotten. my brother is on my left playing DotA on his pc, and occasionally sounds of "GODLIKE!" float up from the speakers. other brother is sound asleep after i helped him with some eyedrops for his sore eyes. parents arent home.
days like these, i am appreciative. for the time that i've got to sit around blogging posts with no specific topic, or that i dont have to forsake a day's sleep to cram for a chemistry paper. that my brother and i arent arguing. that i dont have to DO anything, or placate anyone, or say i'm sorry a few million times, or grin and bear it, or plan out schedules, or call up my best friend crying and saying i'm confused and that i dont know what to do. this week, as some of you may know by now, has been full of drama for me. i havent been able to concentrate on anything i've attempted over the past few days -- my attention keeps straying to other things and i write heartfelt letters in my mind. there are so many things that i want to say to some people, but it's either too late or just not possible. and even if they were possible, what do i say? do i go with honesty or do i go with tact? most people think that i'm someone who doesnt really give two shits about what others think, and that i do whatever i want just so long as i like whatever i'm doing. while i have to confess that there is some truth in that notion, i also have to say that it's not always like that. i think sometimes i try too hard to please everyone, and despite knowing how impossible it is, i still do it anyway. most days i drive myself nuts working out solutions that will appease everybody, strategies that will aid in the prevention of discord and arguments, or even lies that will sugarcoat the whole situation. i'm sick of lying. i swear i really am. one day, i just wanna drop all these fabrications and concealments and just tell everyone what i really think. what i really feel. what i really saw, what really happened, and what i really want. but that would be just selfish, wouldnt it? it would be. i've got this huge problem with myself. i dont know why i never seek advice from anyone. the last time i did, it was three years ago, from this girl i never talk to anymore because of some stupid politics. and even then, i only asked her advice to be polite, because she seemed so eager to offer her input. i never took her advice, of course, because the nature of her guidance didnt really seem to suit me. but in hindsight, i think doing what she told me to do would have been the smarter choice. but that's the thing. i never take anyone's advice, or i never ask it. i like to think i can solve my own problems, but then there are some things that are just out of my frame of understanding. yet, i still refuse to seek help, or even share my situation with anyone. i think it's a matter of pride. something that i have too much of. maybe i just dont want to depend on anyone subconsciously, because i am already too dependant consciously. i was telling a friend the other day my results for the very well known Personality Disorder Test. when i told him i got a High for OCD, Dependant and Histrionic, he expressed surprise at the Dependant bit, and said i didnt really come across as someone who relies heavily on others. but the thing is, i do. people just dont know it. because i dont tell them. once again, a matter of pride. it's like, i depend on you more than you'll ever know, but i wont ever tell you that i do. i depend on my boyfriends a lot, even though they sometimes get the impression that i like my space and privacy uninvaded. but the truth is, when i get into a relationship with someone, which is not often, i want to share everything that i have with him. everything. i want him to know all of my stories and secrets, all of the music i love to listen to, and all the movies i ever watched and loved. i want to share all of my time with him, and even during my alone-time, i want him to be there. when i say go away i never really mean it and i always want them to come back and soothe me. that's how much i depend on them, how much i cling to them in my desperate longing for affection. i depend so much on my friends as well. but they dont see it. most of them think that i dont trust them or that i cant stand them, and i guess that's not very surprising seeing how i never tell them anything. my best friend asked me the other day with wide eyes and a soft voice, "how many boyfriends have you had?" and i thought it was really strange that she didnt know, but truth is i never did tell her. yet i build so much on the fact that she actually bothered to ask, that she actually cared enough to want to know what has been plaguing me for the past week. and when she tells me her own issues, i grow in it, because that feeling of being there for a friend is just so very important to me. family. i've always thought that i never really depended on them much (save for financially, that one's a given), because i live too much in my reputation of being the girl whose parents dont give two fucks about her. but then i think about all the times that my dad calls me at 4 in the morning to tell me to go home, or when my mom makes me eat homecooked food because "outside food is not hygienic, okay!" .. i realize i thrive on those calls or nags because it's the only time they ever give me any attention. it reminds me that although they never see me or bother to spend time with me, they do care about me just that little bit. or a lot. whichever. i'm just glad that there is any caring at all. when i was younger i used to wish that my mom would pick me up from school or that my dad would tuck me in at night. like my friends' parents. i remember this particular sleepover i had at my cousin's place when i was 10. that night, my aunt came in and told us stories before we went to bed, and i remember thinking it was all so foreign. but it felt so good to know that an adult would actually take 30 minutes off their busy schedules to tell a kid like me stories so i could sleep better. it was weird. so after she left the room, i went into the bathroom and i cried because i wished my mom was like that. but my mom's my mom. she'll never change no matter how many times i scream at her or accidentally on purpose leave diary entries lying around. and i think i should learn to accept that. because deep down inside i still depend on her. if one day she decides, "fuck this shit, i'm leaving", i dont know what i'd do. maybe i should be glad that my parents arent divorced, instead of moping over the better parents that they could be but arent. tis getting late, and my chocolate chip cookies are finishing. Mogwai - I Know You Are But What Am I is now playing on Winamp, and the song's bitter notes are putting drowsy thoughts in my mind that really shouldnt be there. add math homework calls, and i need to answer my phone. back to the real world for me ...
Sunday, August 28, 20056:06 AMcurrent music : Celine Dion - Immortality hey, everybody!!!!!!
it's the GOBLET OF FIRE trailer!!!! *FANGIRLSCREAM!* okie, let's see what they've got for us.  Hermione, looking gorgeous as usual, in a pink dress! That's Dumbjock Krum she's dancing with.  Cho. she actually looks very .. nice .. here. the more i stare at this picture, the less i wanna smack her. see, i've never liked Cho. because she was nasty. to harry. but she looks cute here. like she wouldnt hurt a fly. BUT HAH, WE ALL KNOW BETTER, BIIIIATCH!  this is Fleur. i did a double take during her screentime, i was like, "...Kirsten Dunst? is that you?" but no, it's not Kirsten Dunst, it's just her lookalike from France. this girl doesnt look anything like how i pictured Fleur in my mind, but she still looks hot :D so it's okay. there's a lot of phlegm in the kitchen ..  doyouseedracodoyouseedracodoyouseeDRACO?!??!  "who ya callin' ugly?!" the trailer's looking mighty fiiiine. even after all the book6 hype, this is getting me all worked up again. scream! november feels so far away now.
Friday, August 26, 200511:00 PMcurrent music : Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
sometimes i wonder why i do these things to myself. i just wanna like, bury myself in bed forever and just stop digging my own graves. i think i've accidentally succeeded in pissing off a good number of people today. BUT I DIDNT MEAN TO!!! aaarrgh. and the sucky part is that for most of the situations, i dont even know what i did wrong. ergh. i'm gonna go raid the nearest haagen dazs and bring a tub of Cookies n Cream to waimin's house and just rant and rant and rant my head off. nothing a good tub of ice cream and some girl talk cant cure. blahness. THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST HORRIBLE WEEK.
4:47 AM current music : Alter Ego - Rocker blue cars that i dont know the names of
polo ralph lauren shirts that smell like stale cigarette smoke and fresh laundry expensive restaurants kerastase anti-dandruff shampoo white bathrobes slow kisses art that have no meaning but really do yet dont chinese horror flicks and winona ryder high shutter speed hotel pillows and dark blue duvets laconic poetry and the idiot's guide to interpreting dreams irritation lack of space waffles and coffee funky red nikes cement the thought of the touch of your fingertips metrosexual hair the haze and leopard print masks my favourite chocolates piano solos and timeless classics suicide stories fresh air confusion manipulation simplicity strings checkers and minesweeper late nights and early mornings hartamas sleepy comfort spritzer mineral water cookies and cream ice cream "you're yummy" "i never expected you to" "this is so weird" dirty feet neatly pressed shirts and maroon ties leather briefcase and official papers plain white plates your smile and your really strange laugh hugh grant mess gray bali 30 minute waits these are just a few things that remind me of you. you're one of a kind. it's been fun. i want my scrunchie back.
Thursday, August 25, 20057:38 PMcurrent music : Coldplay - Shiver and my eating streak has not stopped. i slept in late today, missing chem tuition (omg, 3rd time this week i've missed tuition?!) as well as breakfast in the process, so i was positively STARVING by the time i woke up.
of course, growing girls like me should not starve, so so here's what i had in between 1pm and 5pm ... 1 nasi lemak 1 bowl of fried rice leftover from yesterday 1 quarter pounder with cheese 2 large cokes 1 large fries + bbq sauce 1 oreo mcflurry + extra oreos 1 apple pie and all in less than 4 hours. i've got dinner at Alexis in a bit, too. hello, sarawak laksa, pavlova and tiramisu!? the strangest (or the best, i still cant decide) part is that not only did i not gain weight, i've also lost weight since i last weighed myself 3 days ago. one whole kg, too. and it's not like i've been dieting or exercising or anything. how weird. and cool. ahh, i love my teenage metabolism. i should put up a daily foodlog, so i can scare away all my readers with my repulsiveness. or do all the dieting girls out there a favour by making them feel better about themselves. or maybe i shouldnt. the foodlog up there is beginning to scare ME a little too much, actually. anyways .... to those who have been following my blog for a while, you will know by now i've always always been meaning to shift out of tripod.com. you will also know that i've already registered my domain and hosting since September last year. on top of that, you will also know that i've always attempted to move, but each time i never really get around to doing it. hence my still-being-stuck-on-tripod.com status at the moment. so right now i'm just extremely frustrated at myself. i tell myself all the time, girl, stop being so irritatingly procrastinatey -- it does you no good and it offsets your productivity. but no matter how many times i try to sit down and get things done on time, it never worksssssssssssss. i'm just naturally lazy and a last-minute sorta girl. but this has gotta come to a stop! until i move my blog, i am declaring a Strictly Honest phase on my blog. everything i post from today onwards until the day i move my blog will be 0 lies and 100% truth. i will not discount, conceal, hide or hedge around anything -- every post will be bona fide life-of-lim su ann. it's gonna be tough shit, as i almost never expose anything remotely juicy on my blog. way too many of the wrongest people read my blog, and it's gonna be so dangerous baring it all. but ah, the price you pay when you wage war against yourself. it should be interesting though ... not to mention an excellent way to calibrate my bravery, or lack of it. 5 bucks say i chicken out and delete this post when i come home from dinner. though i will have to say that there are some critical potentially-life-altering things that i may have to leave out, as well as the identities of certain people in the event that i will have to mention names of others. but besides that, i solemnly swear that i will be completely and totally honest in my blogging from today onwards till the day i move into my domain. the first post can be expected sometime later tonight, or tomorrow. i apologize in advance if my honesty hurts your feelings in anyway. but you know i lurve you <3 edit : that's right, i got cold feet. i'm chickening out. there's no way i can do this. i'll either end up sparking all sorts of unnecessary gossip about my life, or i'll hurt other people's feelings to hell and back. i was thinking about this earlier when i was out with kristof and bunch, and i just couldnt see myself doing the whole honest posting bit. i will admit it -- i'm way too chicken shit to post anything that will expose even a little bit of my private life. i've got no qualms about writing what i think and stuff, but i seem to hit dead ends when it comes to blogging about my problems or my personal encounters. i mean, i dont even tell my best friends what's going on in my life, and i suddenly expect myself to bare it all on my blog for the entire WWW to read? hah, fat chance! i really like the shroud of mystery that clouds my life :) i've always known that i cant stand the thought of people being able to see right through me, or read me accurately. it's just annoying. also, i've got one too many family members reading this blog. some brutally honest things would be just so unsuitable for the eyes of my family.... i could do a semi-honest thing where i filter out the more damaging bits, but that would be completely missing the point of the whole thing. what fun is there, posting something dry when there's really more juice to the whole story? so .. yes, i'm chickening out ;) i think i was high on mcdonalds' fries and coke when i wrote the post. i owe everyone 5 bucks.
2:02 AM current music : Crystal Method - Born Too Slow i knew it. i really am a pig.
it's 2am, and i just ate 2 ramli burgers. and now i'm going out for ice cream. this is superb. 5.46 am edit : now i'm craving thai food.
Wednesday, August 24, 20055:36 AMcurrent music : The Ataris - Giving Up On Love i have been stuffing my face like crazy for the past few days. let me do a recollection of the damage done so far.
on sunday, i had a massive dinner with the family at this vietnamese place called Sao Nam. their mangosteen shrimp salad, spring rolls and pho were so good i couldnt stop myself. also nicked a bit of my dad's vietnamese laksa and my bro's lemongrass salad noodle. and their banana freeze dessert is to die for. on monday, we went out for jovann's birthday, where we all ate shitloads at Chillis for lunch and at Outback for dinner. not to mention all that CHOCOLATE-DIPPED whatevers at the chocolate place in klcc, in between lunch and dinner. huwaaa. so good. chocolate is always good. then today i went out for dinner with azlan at TGIFridays, and i ordered everything patricia told me to order if i ever went there. didnt disappoint :) the fried mozzarella, J.D steak, smothered steak and double fudge brownies were all amazing. and as if that wasnt enough, we went out for drinks at 2 different places after to wash everything down. all that food and drink is enough to kill, i swear it. i feel fat now. but it's a good feeling. i'm just gonna go top off my piggedness by going straight to bed after i finish posting this. (sort-of spoilers after this, dont read if you're iffy about this sorta thing) i caught Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the theatres yesterday. that movie is amazing. to those who read the book, watched the movie and hated the changes Tim Burton introduced to the plot, phooey to you. i absolutely loved the additions to the book's plot, especially the bits on Willy Wonka's past. those were just awesome -- they completely enriched the character of Willy Wonka. Chocolate Factory reminded me a lot of Big Fish, another one of Burton's works that was pure genius as well. i love the way he works with colour and fantasy. his movies make me feel like i'm watching scenes play out in my head when i'm reading a book. it's like they are portrayed in a way so surreal and personal, that you actually start to feel a sense of attachment to his movies that is almost all too familiar. Burton's also really good at depicting emotions in a tangible way. like when charlie found the golden ticket, my heart skipped a beat. it was just so touching, and the whole thing was so abrupt that i actually felt his surprise. and the awww parts were beautifully done as well, eg the scene at Dr Wonka's home at the end as well as the birthday-chocolate scene. the lines in Chocolate Factory got so cheesy sometimes we couldnt help but laugh out loud. "i need a heir". bwahahhaha :D in most movies, lines like those would have warranted an eyebrow raise or two, but Johnny Depp delivers them perfectly as Willy Wonka. he's just weird enough for the role of an antisocial genius. and his laugh, his laugh!!! it's so maniacal, it's apt. Freddie Highmore provided an amazing performance. i didnt think it was possible to see another child actor deliver sad scenes as well as Haley Joel Osment. where has that kid disappeared to, anyway? watched 1994's Reality Bites earlier, the one starring Winona Ryder. i have nothing to say about the show other than that Winona Ryder is gorgeous. this is the first movie i've ever seen her act in (i know, weird isnt it?!) and i had no idea she was this talented or cute. i'm still waiting to watch The Island, and i cant wait for Red Eye to be released on thursday. Rachel McAdams, my love, it has been far too long.
Tuesday, August 23, 20052:55 AMcurrent music : Verve Pipe - Never Let You Down the sound of your name as it rolls off my tongue .. it's so foreign. yet so deliriously exciting to say, or to whisper to myself when i'm sitting at starbucks alone waiting for my coffee.
i think of you sometimes. when i'm in the bookstore browsing thru the chick lit i know you hate so much, or whenever Arsenal-bashing comes up in a conversation. it's nice to think of you, you're like my little route of escapism from reality. like something that turns my head grabs my attention and makes me raise my eyebrow in curiosity. like something that's gone before i know it, leaving me dazed and wanting more. it's cool how we get along so well, and how we can talk about anything without not arguing. i like arguing with you because you never allow me to win. that's totally interesting. i like even more the way you break into a smile. the way it just slowly spreads out over your face, across your cheeks and right into your eyes .. is just so captivating. i could stare at it on slow-mo replay forever and ever. i've never before met someone who's so passionate about life. you're such a go-getter. the amount of energy and zest that you have for everything that you attempt is amazing, and so very contagious. and you taught me how to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. i wanna just do something crazy with you one day. cos you're fun that way. so fun that i'll even pardon your dislike for reading. you look so irresistible when you're shy. and when you're nervous you babble really incoherently. like a kid. and have i ever told you that i love the way you sound when you've just woken up? so disheveledly sexy. makes me wish i could be there. sometimes i wanna know what you're thinking of. you've got so many secrets. tell me one of em. tell me why you are the way you are. and tell me what we've got between us. tell me about this .. thing we have, this thing that's so insanely dizzy and breathtaking and comfortable all rolled into one. you're kinda cute. i think i like you. but you mean nothing to me. just as i probably mean nothing to you. and i think it's great that way.
12:47 AM current music : Greenday - Time Of Your Life sometimes, when a person behaves in a way that causes him/her to repel everyone around him/her ... i begin to wonder what i should do in order to play right my role as a friend.
do i clue in the person on what's going on -- that s/he's making everyone very uncomfortable, and that s/he's the cause of many awkward situations, or do i simply be there for that person since no one else wants to? which would be the better choice? helping the person to change yet at the same time dealing some serious damage to that person's ego and self worth, or help boost his/her self esteem by making him/her feel included and appreciated? when i was 13, one of my best friends was being the most insufferable bitch ever. she was kinda going through that phase that most 13 year olds go through -- you know, that completely gedik attention-seeking phase where you think you're freakin gorgeous and that all the other girls are jealous of you? yeah, that phase. so she was going through this serious personality shift from the shy and introverted girl she used to be, and she was annoying almost everyone around her. i noticed that, but the sad part was that i slowly found myself getting more and more annoyed at her too. and one day i just blew up at her. in short, i told her everything that has ever been said about her behind her back, how she's been pissing the hell out of everyone including her best friends, how she isnt exactly changing for the better .. all that sort of brutally honest stuff. what happened after that was that she did a complete 180, and today she's practically the most unselfish and understanding person i know. that's the success part. the not-so-successful part is that she's always super insecure about herself now, and she thinks that people are forever talking about her behind her back, when they're not. while that's understandable as a result from the trauma she went thru, i still think that if maybe i didnt tell her all that i did, she might have realized all that shit on her own, and have changed anyway as a result of that introspection. that way, her self-confidence might still be intact, compared to the near-destroyed self image that she has today. on the other hand though, if i had just let her be and continue humouring her, she might still be basking in her delusion up till now, and still be queen biatch of the year, and still have no friends. sometimes i dunno if what i did was right. but one thing's for sure .. i like the her now more than the her then. right now, i'm still a little bit torn over a decision i have to make. would it be right for me to just let this particular person know in the nicest but most direct way possible that s/he's being utterly intolerable, thus giving him/her time to change and adapt to new environments with an all-new socially-apt personality .... or should i just be there for the person, and give him/her some semblance of acceptance and warmth? i'm thinking i should go with both. i want to help this person, and i also want this person to know that s/he will have a friend in me no matter how ... frustrating s/he can be. but i just .. oh i dont know. blah. so whaddya people think?
Sunday, August 21, 20051:58 PMcurrent music : Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's huwaaaaaaa. yesterday was horrible. i will never underestimate the tribulations of the working person ever again.
i was up (down?) at PD yesterday for the r3velation rave. it was so-so .. i thought the event had a lot more potential but due to sucky systems and poor organization, it wasnt a total blast there or anything. coulda been better. but i still had fun nonetheless :) music was good only after 11pm. sadly, the pace at the Revive arena only picked up at .. what, 3 a.m? Recharge was good throughout. they had platforms up for shuffling, which was cool. there was an abundance of shufflers in phatties. and hot girls in bikinis. oooooohlala .. and speaking of hot girls, some chick there lost her skirt. i repeat, she lost her skirt. so you know what she did after that? she danced in her panties. how on is that?! we couldnt stop staring. she had the nicest ass. i regretted leaving my camera in the car. this time around, i got my butt groped/smacked twice. but that's okay. what got me pissed was when some drunk guy grabbed me by the waist and started feeling up my stomach. HELLO?! DONT FUCKING TOUCH MY STOMACH!!! rawr >:O of course, like everything else for the past week, this event just served to remind me once again of how spoilt i am. within 3 hours of standing/walking, my feet started hurting like crazy, and i had to ask someone to get me band-aids. the whole night i used up about 10 band aids on my poor feet. i hate flip flops!!!! i must be the only person in the whole wide word who thinks that heels are so much more comfortable compared to flip flops. then i had to get mao to massage my legs for me. ahahhaha. he is the damn best masseur ever. normally i hate it when people give me massages because they never know the right spots to massage, but mao just knows how and where to touch a woman ;) gotta lurve him. disjointed post. but i dont careeeeee cos i'm sleepy and lethargic and pms-y >:( and lunch at kim gary calls. oh and i'm sorry, no pics of the event, cos i was too busy girl-watching to take any photos. girls in bikinis. yummy.
Friday, August 19, 20057:21 AMcurrent music : Bowling for Soup - Almost so i was sitting at my dining table in the wee hours of the morning, with a cup of coffee on my right, a plate of scrambled eggs on my left and my shitload of uncompleted mod maths homework in front of me. midway through my very sexily curved ogive, i couldnt help but put down my pencil and start to ponder about the time (or lack thereof) that i've got till SPM.
(to those who dunno, SPM is a Malaysian government examination all high school seniors sit for. it's basically the reason why we've been studying for the past 11 years. blah) so i started thinking about the time i've got left, and my mind started drifting way way away, branching off into other closely unrelated yet oddly tied-in subjects. and all of a sudden, i was gripped with a sudden sense of panic. shit, only about 2 months left to SPM! if i exclude the Trial 2 period and Trial 2 mugging period, i've got only about .. one freaking month and 10 days! auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. however this time around it's not the exam that i'm fretting about. this time around it's just HIT me that my high school life will be over in a few pages of my grey taylors planner. then i'm gonna be leaving sri garden for good, and moving on to bigger and better things. i'm gonna be outgrowing my 2nd home (sometimes it's the 3rd when it loses out to my real home. mid valley always 1st home) for 11 years in a matter of mere weeks! much as we puny teenagers love to gripe about our school and its shortcomings compared to thisandthatschool or soandsoschool, we never really realize how much high school shelters us. until of course, it's too late. which of course, is what i'm going through right now. and of course, abandoning my homework in the process. blog > homework? i'm a spoilt girl. a very pampered girl, who DOES realize that she has many security blankets in life. when i leave form5, all those security blankets are gonna be ripped off me and when i think about that happening, i feel like just clinging on to that stupid yellow pillar in the school foyer that i walked into and apologised to sometime 3 years ago, and never letting go. tis funny. just a month ago i was telling sieutheng how i cant wait to finish school and be rid of all the crap sri garden makes u endure. i will so freaking struggle in college. what am i gonna do without AIRA?! who's gonna tell me what homework there was? who's gonna like, wake me up when i sleep during class? who's gonna set me back on the right path when i stray away?! argghgghgh!! aiiiiiraaa, dont leave me ...!! and jovann. what will i do without him! i will never have lunch money like for ever. and i will have no scratching post when he's not here :( no jovann, no bitchy gossip too. life will be so much more bleaker. besides, who will discuss with me the right Chanel facial cleanser to use, and who will tell me when Zara is having a sale?! every girl needs her metrosexual best friend for fashion and beauty advice. of course there is mah beloved frog, sieutheng. without her, i will never feel physically wanted ever again. no one will molest me the way she does. sniff. and she's the only lala i know who can take all lala-bashing-inclined verbal abuse with an open heart. losing her also means losing a confidante :(  to the 4 Of Them -- rebecca, sze yin, christine, bev -- you compliment the 4 Of Us very well, and vice versa too. let's hookup with The Other Two and go out for a 4+4+2 thing one day before school ends. sy, i will miss ur bitchiness -- you make gossip that little bit more fascinating. rebecca, i'll always remember you as the cutest blurrest girl in the world. christine, u're really noisy sometimes but that's what makes u cool. you're the life of wherever u go. beverly, my sleeping-in-class partner in crime ... the only other person in the world who understands the dire need to shut your eyes when a teacher is at the front of the class. wai min, wai min. my inspiration in all that i do, and the younger sister i never had. let's never grow apart. i bet college life has no popcorn-couples. annjoeanddarren, chaoyingandhaowkang, jinhangandshushen -- i will miss watching you guys fight! i'll miss telling y'all to get a room. freddy ........... our 1 year anniversary is coming up soon, hahahaha. i know you know what i'm talking about. justin. i have a confession to make -- i think you have the nicest smile in the world. here's another -- i secretly look at you a lot. because you're so darn cute! and my wacky girl patricia. i'm glad you came into sri garden this year. it's nice to have another net-addict in class, who blogs and makes LJ icons and visits potterpuppetpals.com as well ;) you're totally awesome. and one of a kind. i just have to leave Mole Boy till last. when you first came to ssg, i thought you were this really shy, quiet boy who runs away at the sight of a girl. you were so SHY and SCARED when we first started talking! and omg, look at you now. perasan muka tak malu boy. and ergh, stop getting straight a's!! it's so annoying!! it's 7.20 now and i think i better go do my homework before i get a fail for my forecast. ah, homework. there's something i wont miss when i finish school.  just a side note .... looking at the above picture, i think i finally see why all my teachers always nag me about the length of my skirt ...
Tuesday, August 16, 20057:41 PMcurrent music : Lifehouse - Somewhere In Between this is simply amazing. the tak-jadiness of my weekend has carried over to this week. today i had a superbly craptastic day because 4 events/appointments tak jadi.
that, and there is an UNBELIEVABLE amount of schoolwork i have to complete within the next 2 days. 5 physics exam papers, 1 add maths paper, 1 mod maths paper, 4 biology essays and 2 newspaper articles, to be exact. omg. and i just found out that i have been told a humongous lie. the truth of which is almost impossible to find unless i ask that person straight up. which is .. well, impossible. am also super frustrated at my brother. some days i swear i want to just slap him. and i also wish i would stop worrying about his problems and the way he handles them. i was so sulky the whole day i just wanted to explode. i dont wanna talk about it anymore. i just wanna sulk. like the spoilt lil girl that i am. sulkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. need. hugs. and. kisses. so. badly. :( edit : i feel so much better. i wanna thank ... my beloved frog, sieutheng! :D she gave me 2 of her bio essays. how is that not the sweetest gesture in the whole wide world?! bruce, for his amazing taste in chocolates .... and er, for more than taste in chocolates ;) btw i had to look up equanimity. dont use big words on small girls lah. songjun, for the flowers and cookies and chocolate sabby, j, justakid, johann for the hugs :D eeyean for her kiss with tongue. i just wanna thank everyone but asyraf. BECAUSE HE IS SO MEAN. alvin for being the most awesome password rememberer. and azlan for being my comic relief. big MWAHs to you people :D
Sunday, August 14, 200511:07 PMcurrent music : Jack Johnson - Sexyplexy i finally did it. i finally came clean and told him everything.
i feel so liberated. now let's see what's gonna unfold from this ... this weekend has been the weekend of potong stim/tak jadi. almost ALL my plans were thwarted in some way, or i ended up doing something i wasnt supposed to be doing in the first place. Mandarin Oriental banquet manager on leave lah, cannot discuss the prom lah, tak jadi DotA lah, overslept yesterday and missed bio class lah, then chocolate buffet nochet open when i reached there, visit granny tak jadi also, and there was the whole BORINGSHITNIGHT on saturday because azlan is so freaking HOMOPHOBIC ... and nowwwww, tak jadi go watch The Island at midnight. OMG?! i'm going to scream from all the potong stimness. it's like going to buy a pair of heels and then finding out some kelefeh bought them before you did. okay i just wanted to gripe about my tak-jadi weekend, that's all. i dont really have anything of intellect to say at the moment, except that i had a tak-jadi weekend and that i feel extremely liberated. not that those were remotely intellectual or anything. edit : it is a bloody miracle that i am able to post this. for about 2 weeks now, blogger.com is being a bloody pain in the ass. my blogger account keeps getting suspended for the stupidest of reasons, and it takes me ages to get it reactivated! bah >:( wordpress, here i come. eeyean and alvin are helping me out with the transfer, and i feel so very very blessed to have two php and wordpress pros for friends :D also, if i'm not too lazy, a switch over to my domain (that has been collecting dust for a year now) will be in order. yayness, no more tripod! edit edit : just great! my comment boxes have decided to die on me too!
5:09 AM current music : The Shins - Caring Is Creepy today, something completely spectacular happened. i made history. it was awesome. it was inspiring. it was just totally cool.
... i was actually EARLY for an appointment today. by a full 15 MINUTES. say it with me now, people. whoooaaaaaa :D i am in a state of confusement at the moment, and i think i need your help. here's the situation : i have this 3-year-old Nokia 8310 that i've never really thought of trading in, see? unfortunately circumstances are such that my poor phone is dying, due to my innate butterfingerness and lack of concern for it. right now, the 6 and 9 buttons on my keypad arent functioning very well, and this gets in the way of my notorious sms habit. so i have to face facts. it's time for me to get a new phone. do you guys have any recommendations? the requirements are that it has to look totally feminine -- i dont want no man phone. a huge memory capacity would be great. camera is optional. no brand preference, though i think i tend to lean a little bit towards nokia interfaces, having used nothing but nokia phones for 8 years now. budget is not an issue. suggestions? :D
Friday, August 12, 20055:19 AMcurrent music : Guns and Roses - November Rain i seem to have miraculously lost the 2kg i gained whilst in corea, even though i have done nothing but pig out even more than usual. so i am celebrating by eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups by the handful in between popping Ribena pastilles two by two at 5 in the morning.
yay, me the blimp! why be thin if it means you have to watch what you eat?! why, i ask you!? on a more serious (and petulant) note, it is apparent that all of Malaysia are being affected by eye pains, sore throats and significantly blacker boogers, with all credit going to the haze situation. i am not going to sink down to the level of cursing Indonesia to hell and back, like everyone else seems to be doing lately. but i do, however, wish they would do something about this, and fast. this forest fire thing happens every year, they should stop acting all surprised and start taking measures to rectify the situation and prevent this from happening again in the future. pronto.  before  right now this is how bad the haze is. both pictures have not been altered. and i consider myself fortunate. i'm only suffering from dry eyes, a dry throat, a slight headache, and a slightly dampened social life due to the haze. that's all. what about the lady selling nasi lemak outside my school every morning? what about the dudes manning burger carts everyday just to make ends meet? no one will want their food anymore. yet they still stand there, breathing in polluted air, in the hopes that some lone soul will walk pass and buy something from them. so what happens to their source of income? it goes completely down the drain. even roadside stalls, mamaks and malls are feeling the pain. i was in mid valley earlier, and there were only a handful of people walking around. there was actually haze in the building. steven's corner and the mamaks at hartamas were near empty too. and our economy is suffering as well. if i'm not wrong, the KLCI declined several points today. tourists have stopped coming in. ports around msia have also had their operations suspended, and subang airport is now closed. fuh. what is becoming of our country. judging from the weather report, we'll only get rain sometime late this weekend. that and the haze isnt expected to clear until october. it isnt gonna be a very pleasant 31st August this year. siigh. i feel like i'm one of those residents in SimCity 3000 whose homes have been placed too near the high industry areas. complete with the yellow-gray cloud hovering above my head and all.
Monday, August 08, 200511:54 PMcurrent music : Gavin Degraw - Dreams and so i am back from the Land o' Corea!
in a nutshell, the whole trip wasnt great, but it wasnt bad either. there was a lot of confusion and a lot of tiredness and a heck of a lot of communication problems (none in our team could speak corean, and most of the coreans we encountered couldnt speak english), yet we still had a lot of fun :) i rate it a 6.5 out of 10. ate loads and loads of good corean fooooood. bulgogi, tokbokki, japchae, mandu, jigae and bibimbap were among my favourites :D shlurpness. had lots of kimchi too, and i can take the spiciness better than i thought! as an aftermath of all that good hearty food, i am now 1.5kg heavier than i was before i left for corea. ahh. but it was all so worth it :D a brief outline of the trip ... Day 0 arrived at KL International Airport at around 10pm on the 1st of August. upon meeting up with the rest of the Sri Garden delegates, the other girls exclaimed "wah, su ann's luggage so small!!" i was confused cos i thought i overpacked, but then i saw that their luggage was more than twice the size of mine. we all laughed and i felt a little better that FOR ONCE i wasnt the bimbo who overpacked and brought the most luggage :P (i later felt like i should have just overpacked since all the other girls did too)  took some photos, went for a late dinner at McDonalds, boarded the plane. promptly fell asleep within 10 minutes of settling into my seat (hey, 2 weeks of exams do that to you okay), waking up only for breakfast and then going back to sleep again. Day 1 the 29 of us arrived at Incheon International Airport, Corea. all of us were groggy from the flight, but rather excited. took a 1-hour bus ride to the Dreamtel International Youth Centre, where we've been staying for the past week. we were given an hour to freshen up, so by 12pm we left for CoEx mall by subway. SHOPPING!!!  we had a killer expensive lunch at CoEx. rm20 for fried rice at a foodcourt :O that was when we realized that stuff in Corea is really very, very expensive. after that we windowshopped a little (too little money for anything beyond that!) and spent a couple more hours mucking around the huge mall before we left for Lotte World at 5pm. Lotte World is like this hugeeeee outdoor theme park/indoor amusement park/shopping centre, with THE BIGGEST DARN CROWD I'VE EVER SEEN. christine, sieutheng and i paid 18000won (rm70 thereabouts) each for entrance, but we didnt even go on a single ride because the queues were so amazingly loooong o.O that and we were really bushed from not having slept since the flight from Malaysia.  at 10pm we headed back to the youth centre via another subway adventure (dont ask. lets just say that foreign subways and an inability to read/speak corean gets you nowhere)! we then ran back in the rain, cleaned up, made a hell of a lot of noise in the youth centre (because we're young like that) and then crashed in bed. Day 2  went out for an authentic corean breakfast at Banghwa street, and after breakfast we went back to the hostel to await the arrival of the other delegate countries, and also to set up our mini-exhibition booth. after that was done, we met all the other youths from the other participating countries. mingled a bit and passed around malaysian coconut cookies as well as dodol. the opening ceremony of the Youth Exchange was held during dinner time, where we had this huge corean buffet. each country also had to showcase their cultural performance, and i was part of the Malay Dance for malaysia. wah so malu, a few of us actually messed up the steps, myself included :P but we still got warm applause, so it was all good.  took many pictures during the opening, then we were all shuffled into our rooms. christine and i were put together with two corean girls, Yoon Young (we called her amy) and Jung Won who were friends. to our extreme relief, they both spoke fluent english, having studied in Sweden and London respectively. after the opening, they both met up with their friend Bo Yoon, and took sieutheng, christine and I out for karaoke. the three of us recognised some corean songs from Autumn In My Heart (Endless Love), Winter Sonata and Jewel in the Palace, so we mde the three of them sing those songs. hahaha and the only english songs that all 6 of us could sing together were those of Avril and Britney, so Avril and Britney it was :P after karaoke, we did the whole instant noodles, chips and gossip thing, then we all went to sleep. Day 3 i overslept and missed breakfast. surprise surprise!! we were then split into our country teams for the Cooking Competition. we made bulgogi (barbequed beef) and kimchi (fermented cabbage) and tok (rice cake), and sadly Malaysia won none of the categories :P our culinary masterpieces were then announced as our lunch, and our cooking turned out to be not half bad after all!  after that we had the Hanbok Experience activity, where we all all taught how to wear the Corean traditional costume, the hanbok. lots of photo taking here!  after that we had some icebreakers (yeah a little late :P) and then our hosts for the homestay were announced. my partner was Elliot Park from the USA, and our host was a 13 year old girl, Eun Jung. she then met up with two of her other friends, one of whom hosted Jin Hang (my classmate) and Daniel from the USA. the other hosted Kien Heng (from my school) and James Brennett from the USA. after that we went everywhere together as a group, the 9 of us. i was EXTREMELY thankful for being paired up with Elliot, since he was of Corean descent, could speak Corean and therefore was a brilliant translator throughout my homestay period. was also thankful for the company of Jin Hang and Kien Heng because at least things were a little less foreign with them around. the three guys from the USA were loads of fun, so it was really nice having them around too :) so the 9 of us teamed up -- 3 msians, 3 coreans, 3 americans -- and we took the subway to one of the corean girl's house. it was a blooooooodyyyyy long walk from the station to her house, but the 3 girls didnt seem to mind at all! they were walking effortlessly as if they walked a few hundred miles every day :O the rest of us were half dead by the time we arrived at her home, so we crashed for a bit before we went out again. the 5 guys headed to a PC-bang, which means cybercafe in corean. the 3 girls and i went to Myeongdong, which is like a classier Petaling Street but with more things to buy :D we took sticker photos there, had 32cm-high ice cream, ate street vendor food, bought some souvenirs and little trinkets. w00t! good time.  after that we picked the guys up from the PCbang, then headed back. there was a bit of confusion with one of the hosts, apparently her parents were clueless about the fact she was hosting 2 foreigners, and so she wasnt allowed to let Kien Heng and James in. after a round of negotiation, the two guys were finally given permission to stay, so it was all good. jin hang, daniel, elliot and i then left to jin hang's host's house at 11pm to have supper. corn, tokbokki, peaches and pumpkin tea. nyum :D around midnight, Elliot and I left for Eun Jung's house. her place was another bloody walk away, and like earlier she seemed very very oblivious to the fact that we werent used to all that walking :P we arrived at her place, met her mom who asked us to call her Umma (mother), took a good long (cold) shower and gave Umma our gifts. i brought mooncakes, batik cloth and a batik shirt! then we all went to sleeeeep. Day 4 woke up at around 8am to find Eun Jung staring expectantly at me with wide eyes @_@ i didnt know how long she was doing that. got up, showered, and met her grandmother (whom we called Halmoni) who was the sweetest woman i have ever met. she made us breakfast of bulgogi and japchae with some other side dishes i forgot the names of. snapped some photos, packed my luggage, hugged halmoni goodbye, and left Eun Jung's house.  met up with the other 6 and we went to this park called Children's Grand Amusement Park. us non-coreans felt it was a very weird place to bring us, but we went along anyway. took a bus there, walked around the park, and went towards the theme park area for a bit of arcading and roller coaster rides.   at 1.30pm, we headed back to the hostel by subway. it was 32STOPSOMG and so we all slept for the 1 hour + we were in the train. arrived at the hostel late, but i still took a shower. (i have never before in my life encountered such hot weather prior to that day!) went down to the hall to find that we were to be sorted into groups of 10 to draw a banner depicting YOUTH. after that we had this domino group activity where each group had to build a domino design and then link it with the rest of the other groups' design. needless to say, this activity was a huge and humongous failure :P our designs kept falling before we could complete anything!! pah :O so frustrating.  we then learnt the corean mask dance, called the Ta'alchum. it was a funky experience, though we didnt do the dance very well :P had dinner at a bulgogi restaurant, then went back to the hostel for the 'friendship party' where we had games and competitions. omg, i went up with christine and amy for one of the competitions not really knowing what i had to do. turned out it was dancing on stage. that proved to be the MOST EMBARASSING THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE. argh! i later found out that i had picked the wrong dance partner because he turned out to be one of those stalker-types. huwaaaa. >:( around 10pm all 200+ of us went back up to our rooms where we mingled and talked and threw little parties. love was in the air for many of the forum participants...... Day 5 christine, amy, jung won and i overslept :O surprise surprise!! we woke up at 9am when the bus was to leave at 9am :P i was, as usual, the very last person down, and i kept 5 buses waiting for me. and yes i did feel very bad. day5 was Sightseeing Day, so we were brought to the World Taekwondo Federation Headquarters where we watched very cool Taekwondo demos. headed to the Parliament (i think that's what it's called), walked around in the scorching heat just to take a photo (no we didnt even go into the building or anything) and then went to the Seoul World Cup Stadium where we took pictures in the field, the locker room, and with the corean football team ;)  went back to the hostel for the closing ceremony. quite sad, and many participants cried. the coreans went back, and so did several other country delegates. at 7pm, we went to Dongdaemun for shopping, w00t! though it was a very tiring and stressful experience :O i spent so much time deciding what to get as souvenirs for friends and family, and then more time haggling that i didnt manage to get anything for my own. sniff! :( but oh well, souvenirs = more important than my own stuff. ran back to the subway at 11pm, worried that we might miss the last train, found out Ms Chin and the rest had gone of without us, hurriedly boarded the train and went back to the hostel. got a bit of a lecture from Ms Mano and Ms Chin for being late, then we went for dinner at this BBQ restaurant, the owner of which tried to rip us off by charging rm136 for unmarinated bulgogi :O the nerve! we kicked up a bit of a fuss, slapped down half the amount he charged us and walked off. went back, packed, and finally went to sleep at 4am. Day 6  left for Incheon Airport at 8am. boarded plane at 11.30am. arrived at KLIA at 7.30pm. got home at 10pm. I'M HOME!!!! :D
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Persona :: Name Su Ann / Pinkpau :: Age 16 :: Location KL, Malaysia :: Email pinkpau[at]gmail[dot]com Spirit :  Linkage Alvin Ee Yean George Iviane Johann Sarah Scott Sern Li Shu Hsien Shy Sinta Song Jun Terence Theo Tze Ching Blog Archives January 05 February 05 March 05 April 05 May 05 June 05 July 05 August 05 |